the last days blog

Okay, I caved to the ubiquitous Facebook meme of “25 Things About Me.” I’m jumping on the bandwagon and posting a list of random things about myself, that sounded interesting enough to mention. Actually, I think it is kind of appropriate, considering I turn 25 years old this year.

1. I have been scatterbrained my whole life. I forget which light switch does what (even after living somewhere for years), misplace my keys/phone/Chapstick/wallet almost every single day, and constantly forget what I’m doing as I’m doing it.
2. Thus, I am jealous of people like my roommate, Cody, who are obsessively organized and detailed. I would rather have OCD than be the mad scientist that I am most of the time (I’ve learned ways to force myself into being organized, but it mostly only works while at work).
3. I am addicted to coffee and blogs, and spend too much time every morning drinking coffee while reading my Google Reader feed.
4. I am a much bigger geek than I let on when it comes to video games, fantasy and science-fiction, and technology.
5. I used to dream of being a marine biologist, and I monitored, fed, and cared for marine creatures (e.g., fish, small sharks, and octopuses) in junior high for the Living Planet Aquarium.
6. I still dream of being a famous actor. I know I have enormous talent, but I’ve realized I don’t have the eat-drink-live drive that real thespians do, and I’m okay with it.
7. I love studying and practicing varying types of spirituality, but I am a huge skeptic and find it impossible to accept “absolutes.”
8. Moreover, I am extremely distrusting of all organized religions, and the very idea of organized religion. I attribute most of the suffering in the world (including my own) to religion and often think the world would be better off without it.
9. The first of two most important things in my life is best summed up by Shakespeare, when he wrote in Hamlet, “This above all: to thine own self be true, / And it must follow, as the night the day, / Thou canst not then be false to any man.” I have part of the quotation tattooed on my right ribcage.
10. The second most important thing in my life is family, which is why I feel so immensely offended when the religious right uses the term to support their bigotry and intolerance.
11. “Family” to me includes all of the friends whom I love and consider closest to me. They mean just as much to me as my blood-related relatives.
12. In 2002 I won a trip to Hollywood and Universal Studios by winning a game of “Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon,” hosted by a local radio station. I had to connect Bacon to Ben Affleck. It took me over half an hour to figure out the connections.
13. I have always had an extreme distaste for physical activity, which is why I was never heavier than when I was in junior high and high school. I have since learned to at least tolerate (if not like) exercise and some forms of physical activity.
14. Every once in a while I take the long way when walking or driving somewhere just to break up the monotony of the day or week.
15. If I fear anything it is this: I believe I can change the world for the better, but I’m afraid that 1) I won’t have the courage to do it, or 2) I won’t recognize the chance when it happens.
16. My first crush was in the third grade on a boy who probably barely knew who I was. When asked to make a poster of “your hero” I made one about him.
17. I have a colorful medical history, though I thank God I’ve never suffered from anything too serious. To name a few, I have had (or currently have) mononucleosis, appendicitis, dermatagraphism, lactose intolerance, colitis, gastritis, GERD, anxiety disorder, sleep disorder, deviated septum, and chronic tonsillitis. I have had four minor to major surgeries in the last five years.
18. I also had LASIK in January 2008, and it was the best money I have ever spent.
19. I love office supplies. There is nothing quite like the smell and feel of a new notebook, package of pens, or binder. I have had to curb my love for new supplies in an effort to cut back on waste and “green” my life.
20. My ancestry is mostly Scottish. I descend from the Mackintosh clan, whose motto was: “Touch not the cat but a glove,” which I interpret to mean, Don’t poke a tiger in the asshole unless you want to get your face scraped off.
21. I collect coffee mugs. I have a collection at home and on my desk at work. I have no idea why I do this, but it makes me happy.
22. My favorite animals are tawny owls, arctic wolves, fennec foxes, and hippopotamuses.
23. I don’t think I would be alive today if I hadn’t come out to friends and family as gay in high school, and for the love and support I received from many of those friends and family members.
24. I have never been more content with myself than I am at this point in my life.
25. I love the sound of (most) things being crumpled, ripped, or pulled apart.

The passage of Proposition 8 has ignited a lot of emotions in me and in thousands across America. Today, I’d like to share a speech I recently gave in a class that focused on Prop 8.  You can get a feel for just what I think about it.  Feel free to let me know what you think.  The speech was limited to five minutes, so I had to pare down my thoughts quite a bit. I certainly have much more to say on the topic, and I will probably continue to post them in the future here on lastdaysblog.com.

What Is Deserved
A Speech to Follow Proposition8

In September of this year, my uncle Craig, who lives in northern California, was married. It was a joyous occasion for him and his family, and I was so happy to see the photos of him smiling at the ceremony, holding the official state document giving proof of his nuptials. That happiness was cut short, however, when on November 4, 52% of California voters said yes to Proposition 8, and eliminated his marriage. Why did they do this? Because the person my uncle Craig married is named Paul, and that just didn’t sit right with many people. After fifteen years together, sharing a home and a family, my uncle and his husband had been, just before the election, viewed by the state as equals to every other married couple in California. Now, the state sees them as nothing more than two dudes living together.

I will talk about three main issues today. First, I will explain just what Proposition 8 was and why it was unconstitutional and immoral. Next, I will discuss the protests and rallies that have resulted from the passage of Proposition 8, with particular emphasis on those that have been directed at the Mormon Church. Lastly, I will talk about the future of this issue and what I expect—-and hope—-to see in the time to come.

So, what was Proposition 8 exactly? According to its own ballot title summary, Proposition 8 “eliminat[ed] rights of same-sex couples to marry.” Why did it say “eliminated rights?” On May 15, 2008 California’s supreme court ruled that denying same-sex couples the right to marriage violated the state’s constitution.  The case stated that marriage is a “fundamental right” and therefore any ban on same-sex marriage violated the constitution. Proposition 8, in effect, rescinded the constitutional rights that gay couples had been deemed to deserve by the supreme court of California.

This issue is personal to me, and so I cannot stand here and be unbiased. I believe firmly that Proposition 8 was fundamentally and morally wrong. I believe that same-sex couples deserve all the same rights that their heterosexual counterparts enjoy. Just what are these rights, some might ask?  In fact, there are over 1,000 rights that accompany a marriage recognized by the state. These include the rights to many of ex- or late spouse’s benefits, such as workers compensation and medicaid; joint income tax filing rights; joint parenting and visitation rights; next-of-kin status for emergency medical situations; and hospital visitation rights, just to name a few.

Why “marriage” then, and not just civil unions? To be be brief, the issue is this: granting civil unions to gay couples while heterosexual couples are allowed full civil marriage is separate, but not equal. To me it’s like saying, you’re welcome to drink from water fountains, just not the same one that I do. To those who worry about the so-called “redefining of marriage,” I argue that America has already redefined marriage in its recent history.  In 1967, if you were a black person who wanted to marry a white person, your marriage would have been against the law in 16 states. That was as wrong then as Proposition 8 is now.

Arguments against same-sex marriage are many. But I will lastly address the one that is used most commonly: religious belief. I am not here to judge anyone’s religious beliefs as right or wrong. I think that if someone believes that gay marriage—-or just being gay or lesbian at all—-is wrong, or evil, or unnatural, then so be it. You are free to believe that people like my uncles—-or me for that matter—-will go to hell, and I have been told that to my face. But one of the wonderful things about living in America is that our constitution protects religious freedom. Another wonderful thing about America is that we have determined that with religious freedom comes a separation of Church and State. Thomas Jefferson fathered this doctrine and it has held true for decades, protecting both freedom of religion and freedom from religion. So, when it comes to American citizens’ fundamental rights, I do not believe that religious beliefs may get in the way. It is wrong and un-American.

This leads to why, in the wake of the election, I joined an estimated 3,000 people—-gay and straight—-in a rally and protest in downtown Salt Lake City this month. The protest was in opposition to the Mormon church’s involvement in Proposition 8. The church’s presidency encouraged its members to donate their money and time to help the proposition pass, and the church itself donated money. Mormons donated over $22 million and accounted for between thirty to sixty percent of the total donations, depending on the source. The protest and march were peaceful and remained on public property and within the sphere of the law. Some have asked, why target the Mormons? My answer is this: If McDonald’s had accounted for the same bulk of donations, I would have stood in front of their store instead. Of course, anyone including any Mormon has the right to vote how they please and donate money to whichever measure they like. But just the same I, and the thousands of people still marching around the nation have every right to stand up and say—-peacefully of course—-“This is wrong and I am not going to take it.”

So, what is next for the gay and lesbian community and for our country? The future for gay couples in America is uncertain, but I believe that Proposition 8 was just a setback.  It was a terrible setback, yes, and it pains me to know that my uncle and his husband, and thousands of other America couples have been so hurt by it. But I have hope. Hope that understanding can only improve. This hope rests in what I have seen unfold over the past few days. Proposition 8 has ignited thousands of people across the country to action, and I believe that the momentum is now unstoppable. We may even have to settle for separate but not equal civil unions in the mean time. We may not have figured out just how to grasp and hold on to the rights that we so absolutely deserve, but we will prevail.

Yesterday, November 15, 2008, Gracie the cat left us. You had been very sick for two weeks, Gracie, and the vets said you wouldn’t get any better, so we let you go. You no longer need have to suffer and you no longer have to hold on to life for those of us who loved you.

Gracie, you came in to my life quite by accident. When Cody’s parents left for Oregon, they knew you would have hated the trip and probably not even liked living where they were headed, so you came to live with Matt and me in our tiny one bedroom apartment in Midvale. You hated it there, and spent almost the entire six months under my bed or in the closet. But in those rare moments you did emerge, I grew to love you and your unique personality.

When Matt, Cody, and I moved to Sugarhouse you came with us, and you were much more comfortable there. I got to know your quirks, and loved you even more for them. You loved to eat, but you would only eat the first bites of every piece of cat food in your bowl. You would leave a half-filled bowl of tiny food pieces and then stare at us, asking for more food, because those pieces were just not fit to eat. And feed you we did, because it was your favorite thing to do, and you grew to a healthy weight. You earned several nicknames for your hefty size, my favorite being my name for you, Gracie the Walrus.

You never really did meow; it was really more of a squeaking sound. It was like you just didn’t want to waste the energy on a full meow, and instead settled for a quiet m’eh! Next to food, you loved to be scratched, but only when it suited your mood and only in the predetermined areas. Your back was best, and as I scratched your lower back at the base of your tail, you would force your rear end so high in the air you would become nearly perpendicular to the floor. You hated loud noises, especially laughter (Cody’s in particular). You loved looking outside, but not really being outside.

Two years ago, you moved to the condo where Cody and I now live. This was by far your favorite home, and I’m glad that you were so comfortable where you spent your final days. You loved my Ikea bed because it was much lower to the ground than Cody’s, and you loved to lay on anything that I left there: jeans, bags, folders, my computer. You knew where you liked to lay, and you were going to do it, and fuck anyone who told you otherwise. You were a bitch, and the most lovable bitch I’ve ever known. One of my favorite memories is when I woke up after a nap. I was on my stomach, with my legs stretched out on the bed. You had roosted yourself on top of me, perfectly placed between my thighs and calves, perfectly content to stay for the rest of what could have been forever. If I sat on the couch with my legs crossed, you would stare at me until I uncrossed them, then you would jump up and knead my legs with your paws to make my lap the perfect place to nap, taking up as much space as possible. You don’t know how many times I stayed on the couch just so you could lay there just a little bit longer.

You calmed my nerves, Gracie. Just looking into your big, beautiful green eyes made me feel like life wasn’t so tough. Do as you please, you seemed to tell me, but just don’t fuck it up too badly, because you still need food in your bowl. You may have just been using us to stay plentifully fed, but I like to think that you really liked us, too. You seemed to  always be in the room when I thought of you, just lazily staring up at me, your tail perpetually swishing.

Cody, Matt, and I will miss you dearly, Gracie, but we are glad you are not suffering. You lived a good life, although it seemed to end too shortly.  You touched our lives, and we will never forget you. You were a great kitty. I love you, Gracie. Goodbye.

On the heels of my previous post, somehow the grapey version of me didn’t show up in a single web-friendly photo throughout all of my Halloween festivities. Oh well, it’s for the best, probably. Most of the photos would probably visibly show me at various stages between drunk and a stumbling, Don’t pop my balloons, asshole!

It was fantastic, however, and continued the tradition of Halloween being my favorite holiday.

That brings us to today’s holiday, Election Day. Or, as the many would have it described, The Most Important and Historic Election/Day/Moment in American History! Ok, maybe that’s a tad dramatic, but I do empathize with the sentiment. The immense charged energy surrounding this year’s election is palpable, and for me, it certainly is the most important election of a generation. The last eight years, which constitutes most of my politically and socially aware life, has been dominated by an Administration that has squandered the American name. George W. Bush, who although I couldn’t vote for in 2000 but would have supported, has failed in nearly every capacity that I can imagine. The worst part of it for me is that I actually had a high opinion of him immediately following 9/11. Watching the aftermath of the tragedy I, a depressed and anxiety-ridden teenager at the time, wept multiple times both in sadness for the horrific loss of life, and for the marching national unity that followed. I saw President Bush then as the leader of that unity, an igniter of national pride and honor.

But only a few months later, that all began to unravel. I supported (and still do, by the way) sending our troops to Afghanistan to hunt down Osama Bin Laden to enact justice over those who killed so many of my fellow Americans. But what happened? Six years later and the war is in Iraq, where there was no connection to Osama or the Taliban, and no real immediate threat to our country. I saw the Iraq war then as dangerous and morally wrong, and time has shown that my suspicions were correct. Many were duped into believing the Bin Laden-Iraq connection and what resulted was a fracturing of the national unity that I had cherished. Now it was “For the Troops” or “Against the Troops.” “Patriotic or un-American.”  And those of us who saw America committing our time, money, energy, and precious soldiers to fight for something that didn’t make any sense were criticized and hated and ignored.  But now most of America sees the mistake and I, like millions across this country, are pleading, crying out, even bleeding for change.

Change will come with Barack Obama as president. Senator Obama isn’t perfect, and I wouldn’t expect any candidate to be, but he is exactly right on in nearly every single aspect of American policy and values that I believe in. I could go on for days about every issue where Obama comes out ahead: health care, taxes and the economy, energy and sustainability, the war and foreign policy, abortion rights, gay rights, balanced government … plus he is such a damn good orator! (And damn good lookin’, to boot!)  Obama has proven himself in this exhausting campaign to be honest, levelheaded, uniting, relatable, and inspiring. I have teared up more in the past couple months from listening to Barack Obama than almost anything else in the last eight years combined.

This morning I voted for Barack Obama and Joe Biden, and I have high hopes that enough Americans will do the same. I’m not 100% sure, but I have hope. Hope, which was trampled by George Bush, but has now been brought back to life by Barack Obama. He will change the world.

VOTE!

Hey blogophiles, I’m back. It’s me, Joshua Adamson, your fickle blogger who can never seem to keep his site running for more than a few posts.  Well now I have a real, honest-to-god site domain, and you’re lookin’ at it. thelastdaysblog.com and I thank you for visiting.

Now let’s get down to business. And by business I mean blogging. And by blogging I mean me writing and you paying attention.

I will explain more of what I expect this site to become soon, but right now I just want to do what blogs are best for, and that’s talking about my boring life so that the world can read about it. So, what have I got to say today? Let’s talk about Halloween, my favorite holiday. I love Halloween because it gives me an excuse to look and act like a complete dumbass and people love me for it. Take this year. Just this past weekend, I dressed up Friday and Saturday for a bunch of drunken costume parties. My costume was inspired by fruit, and I took it to quite the literal measure. Look for yourself:

Yes, Halloween 2008 is brought to you buy a bunch of grapes. This is what people like to call DIY, or Do It Yerself, gosh darnit! Or maybe it stands for Don’t Impale Yourself [with pointy crafting tools]. I already owned the purple hoodie, so all I needed was purple pants, purple balloons, safety pins and green felt! You know, it feels really good to get down and dirty with some felt and safety pins. I’m pretty sure it’s just how Martha Stewart felt when she made costumes for the female penitentiary’s production of the Grapes of Wrath. That was about grapes, right?

So, the costume was a success. Especially when I teamed up with my roommate Cody, who dressed as a yellow vibrator.

Of course I meant to say banana. Needless to say, two fruits at a party full of fruits made for a juicy spectacle. Stay tuned to see what happens when Grapesey McGee goes out on the real All Hallow’s Eve. Hopefully, I’ll remember to get in front of more than one camera next time.